Abuse in your Relationship?

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone of any age – including teenagers. Abuse can happen to both men and women.  

Abuse is not normal and never ok. If you are in a relationship with someone, you should feel loved, safe, respected and free to be yourself. There are different forms of abuse, but if your relationship leaves you feeling scared, intimidated or controlled then you are in an abusive relationship.
 
If you are concerned about a friend

If you think a friend is experiencing domestic violence and abuse in their relationship, there are things you can do to help.

Your friend might be feeling lonely, be too embarrassed or scared to talk about the abuse. Let them know you are worried about them and are there if they want to talk.

Don’t judge them or tell them what to do – they may feel that they still love the abuser or that they want to give them another chance.

It’s natural you want your friend to be safe, but they have to make their own decisions in their own time. Tell them that the abuse is not their fault and encourage them to visit the websites below for support.

 

Domestic violence and abuse can take many forms, but remember
You don’t have to be hit to be abused.
 
Emotional, Psychological and financial control are also very serious forms of domestic abuse. Domestic violence and abuse often escalates over time – what starts as verbal and emotional abuse can turn into physical violence.
 
Am I being abused?
 
  • Is your partner very jealous and possessive of you?
  • Does your partner get angry when you want to spend time with your friends or demands that you spend all your time with them?
  • Does your partner check your phone, email, facebook and twitter?
  • Does your partner try to get you to defriend people on Facebook, take down your photos or stop you messaging your friends?
  • Are they always calling, texting or BBMing you to check where you are and who you are with?
  • Do they tell you what to wear or how to do your hair?
  • Does your partner laugh at you or put you down in front of other people
  • Does your partner get aggressive? Do they hit, shove, slap or kick you?
  • Does your partner threaten to harm you – or themselves if you try to leave them?
  • Does your partner call you names?
  • Does your partner pressure you to have sex when you don’t want to, telling you that “everyone else is doing it” or that you would do it “if you really loved them”  
  • Does your partner pressure you to send sexual texts and images of yourself
  • Does your partner share any sexual text and images of you with their mates
 
If you can answer yes to any of the above, then you are being abused.
 
SAFEDATE - A healthy relationship programme for young people

THIS IS ABUSE - A site for young people providing information about domestic abuse in teenage relationships
 

RESPECT NOT FEAR - advice which can help you think about your relationships
 

CHILDLINE

REFUGEspecialist domestic violence services to women and children experiencing domestic violence
 

MEN’S ADVICE LINE – Advice and support for male victims of Domestic Violence
 

BROKEN RAINBOW - offers support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people experiencing domestic violence
 

If you are frightened of your partner, or feel that you have to change you behaviour because you are scared of their reaction, you are being abused.

 
What can I do?
 
If you are being abused remember you are not alone, the abuse is not your fault and it is not ok.
 
If you are in immediate danger, call 999
You should talk to someone you trust – perhaps a friend, teacher or parent
 
You can also get advice and support by visiting the weblinks on the right hand side of this page.
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